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Proud to be me without apology

The reason I created Trudy Mackintower was because I wanted to create a character that would speak to my inner child. A child who was different and had trouble fitting in and who often felt misunderstood.  If I could give my child-self some advice, it would be: “Be exactly who God called you to be without apology. Be as loud funny, studious, creative or athletic as you want to be; making no room for rejection or judgment from others.”

As, I child growing up with Mild Cerebral Palsy that advice would be hard to take even from my older self because I knew, especially in school, I would no longer be known as the girl who loved cheerleading, reading and the theater. I would be known as “The girl with the disability.” It was a label I didn’t want. Having a disability came with certain stigmas liking being slow and incapable of accomplishing my goals. It felt like I was challenged daily with fighting through other people’s perception (friends, peers teachers) of me just to be myself.

When I wanted to cheer, it was “is she a liability? Can we win with her on the team? When I wanted to advance in school- “can she keep up academically, even though I always read above grade level. To get on stage, I had to shake off everything people said about me and shine.

I learned an invaluable lesson in participating in various little league teams. I learned resilience and the power of doing something because I chose to. When I was young, I wanted to cheer and dressed up like a cheerleader for Halloween in preschool, but when I was finally of age, my family wasn’t sure if I would be able to because of the physical demands. When I was accepted on the team, I couldn’t be any happier.  I always welcomed? No. However, I loved it and only left the team when I physically couldn’t do it anymore. I stayed because I wanted to.

The struggle of being different means you are sometimes exposed to prejudice and unfair treatment from peers and adults alike. Who may make you feel like you must in some ways apologize for your existence because they might not what to acknowledge accommodations or they want to put you in a box and tell you what you can and cannot do.

When who you are is constantly put into question, it can create a feeling of self-doubt and low self-esteem. You’re constantly put in a position where you have to prove yourself over and over again. But understand you are more than your disability or any label someone tries to place upon you.

English Standard Version says:
But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong.

This means that when the world does not acknowledge you, or dismiss your voice or gifts God will.

I use to have a talk with God. “Why did you give me the peanut butter and not the jelly?”  I always felt like I wanted to do things that other kids did but couldn’t because of my CP. I realized God didn’t make any mistakes when he made us. Just because you have a desire to something that people with your condition, height, or race don’t normally do, doesn’t mean you can’t be the first to make it happen. Continue to do what you love, even if you face opposition. Let your light shine and be proud of who you are.